Goodbye pilgrim, hello tourist

It took me several days to process the termination of the camino. It left me feeling purposeless, empty, confused. Now decisions beyond how long to walk in a day had to be made. As my very dear new friends dispersed for home or Finesterre (3 more days of walking to the very edge of Spain), it became very clear that the new pilgrims who arrived each day were pilgrims and I was past my "best before" date. So it was time to move on. And I took the bus to Porto, Portugal.

the pilgrim departs

Happy halloween

After...

I am emotionally exhausted. There is quite an adjustment to be made after finishing the camino. I've been very busy reconnecting with people I saw weeks ago and saying goodbye to my Superfour family who have been dispersing since we walked into Santiago together a few days ago. Now I am ready to move on and will be departing for Porto, Portugal in the morning. I will continue to blog so you are invited to travel with me for the next month.

giant incense burner

shadow of pillar makes "secret pilgrim"

and I'm here!

the day before Santiago

Thoughts on a rainy day

It rained all day today. The condensation inside my rain jacket and pants made my body as wet as my squeltchy feet. Now I am warm and clean, sitting in a cafe drinking frothy coffee and waiting for our two slow-walking male friends to catch up and go to supper. All along the camino I've met wonderful people and some seem more special than others. Our paths cross at random intervals and each remeeting is

a big surprise. When many days pass without seeing someone you think they've moved ahead or you've left them behind and your paths won't cross anymore. My little friend group lately has consisted of Susanna (New Zealand), Alice (Holland), Pau (Spain), and Anjel (Australia). Toady, a friend from day 1 appeared! Upon long reflection through the meditation of left-right, left-right... I think the magic of the camino is in the relationships between the pilgrims. Nowhere else do people set out on a common cooperative goal like this one. Rabbi Kushner says "God is seen not in people but between people" and this place provides a great opportunity to witness and experience this holy feeling. Oh, if only I could bottle this! Tonight I am in

Castaneda, about 50 km away from Santiago!

the Beat of the Feet

The plodding of thousands of feet for one thousand years propels me forward. The black funk has left me. A circle of camino friends is firming up. We might reach Santiago together on Saturday evening and go to pilgrim mass on Sunday. Excitement of reaching the end and sadness that it will be over and confusion about what to do after completion all mix to make a special feeling. I am in Portomarin tonight and have less than 100 km to walk. Because a compostela can be earned by walking the last 100km only and because it is school holidays in several neighbouring countries, many new pilgrims started around here today. So we blend the old with the new. The weather is stormy but the serious rain has dwindled during the day. I still walk in tshirt at times. The leaves are turning yellow. We walk through farmyards and over emerald green hills. The evenings are crowded with socializing; we know time is limited. Thanks for comments and support. It really helps!♡

...and then I cried.

There's no point in telling the good things only. My hippie vegetarian supper was wonderful and the conversation around the table was fascinating. Pau, from Barcelona, was able to answer my questions about Protestants in Spain and talk about the expulsion of the Moors and Jews. He has also written a children's book about Gaudi, someone who interests me. My walk the next day was lovely, rural, sunny with summer temperatures. I planned to walk as far as the next known vegetarian albergue, even tho it was a bit of a push, distancewise. I was exhausted when I got to the tiny hamlet that contained the vegie albergue. The hostess thought no one would show up this day because everyone arrived late in the day. She announced that she would not be cooking. There was no store in the hamlet, the albergue was far less than "basic", and the other pilgrims that arrived when I did had the night before stayed in a bedbug-infested place. So I experienced "failure to cope", cried inconspicuously, and went down the hill to the tiny hotel. The hotel was immaculate, my room had a double bed, my bathroom was furnished in marble and was equipped with shampoo and potpourri. A little piece of heaven, might I say? The walk the next day was described as greuling (there's no spell check on my phone!) but it was very enjoyable in spite of being steep. But that day, yesterday, I couldn't get out of my mopey mood. I thought about quitting the camino and aborting my November travel plans. I was in my "dark night of the soul". Nothing sat right with me. And what was the point of the camino? My accomodation last night was in a large space crammed with bunkbeds... 4 bunkbeds were pushed together so my bed touched another along one side and head-to-toe. The man above me got out of bed approx 10 times (no lie) and heaved around while he was in the bed. This pilgrim was not smiling in the morning. I bolted out and onto the trail in the pitch black and rain. But the day improved. Daylight finally broke. The sun came out eventually. The path led throught amazing scenery. I am at an albergue now with a small capacity. Maybe my darkness is over.